So, it's late at night, and I TOTALLY can't sleep. Isn't that just the worst feeling ever? I mean, I've been laying in bed for like two hours, tossing and turning, and my brain won't shut down. Seriously. I want to go to sleep, I'm tired, but my brain keeps bringing up crazy things to think about! Darn you, brain......:/
Anyway, I was thinking about the future, and what it holds for me. The future is a scary thing right? It's your life, it's what you're going to be doing, it's who you're going to marry, where you're going to live, how you're going to feel in five years, and you don't know anything about it. Not one. single. thing. That's just a bit freaky if you ask me.
So, obviously, it's late at night, I can't sleep, and my brain is like, "Yo girl! Let's think about all the uncertain things that could happen in the next five years!" Great. Thank you, scumbag brain.
Now, as I lay in bed, in the dark, thinking, I thought of something. Why do we worry? Seriously. It's a legitimate question. I mean, we, as humans, worry about SO many things, that it's exhausting. At least, I know I do! We worry about relationships, and schooling, and jobs, and money, and the world we live in, and how we're going to prepare for the future. And we also micromanage. Don't deny it. You know we do. We try to control every little thing in the history of ever. We even try to control things that are obviously out of our control, and then just get frustrated when we CAN'T control the uncontrollable. And frankly, all of this worrying, and controlling, and micromanaging, is wearing us down.....it's wearing ME down. So, once again, as I lay in bed tonight, looking up at my dark ceiling, I asked myself that question: Why do we worry? Why do I worry?
If I were asking a philosopher, or psychologist, or human behaviorist this question, they would most likely tell me that "human beings worry because it is part of their nature. It is something they just can't control." However, I am not asking them. I'm asking you, and myself, this question. So answer me this: Why do we worry? Why do we worry about our futures, and our past, and even our present, when we have a God watching over us? A God who loves us so much, he's willing to worry about all of that FOR us?
That's right. That's the conclusion my restless night brought me to. Why do I worry, when I KNOW there is a loving Father in Heaven watching out for me? The future isn't unknown, or scary, or uncertain to him. He can see exactly what I'll be doing five years from now. He knows exactly what I've done in my past, what I'll do right now, in my present, and what I'll eventually achieve in my future. So WHY? Why do I worry when he has a plan all laid out for me, and there's nothing to worry about? Why am I giving myself headaches over the unknown future, when it's already all planned out and mapped by one who knows me even better than myself?
Why worry?
I know I always will, just a bit, regardless of this conclusion, because hey, let's be honest, that's just who I am. I'm a worrier. ;) But, now I can rest a little bit easier, knowing that there's a God above who holds my future in his hands....and it is very KNOWN to him. :)
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