Hello readers of the blog! :)
This is my first post, so I thought I would start by sharing a little background with all of you. I am an almost 20 year old college student, who is not married yet. Ok, so I know that's crazy to think about. Trust me, it's been weird for me at times as well! I'm almost 20, LDS, I graduated high school more than a year and a half ago, and I'm SINGLE?? WHAT IS WRONG HERE?!
Now, for all of you guys who aren't LDS, or don't live in Utah, this may seem perfectly fine to you. I'm barely out of my teenage years, and obviously WAY too young still to be thinking about marriage right? Right. However, here in Utah, in the LDS community, girls graduate high school, find an awesome return missionary to date, and get married. Bam, just like that. It's just what we do here. May seem strange, but it's how it happens. I'm not saying there is anything, at all, wrong with getting married after high school. Hey, honey, if you find that right guy right after graduation, decide you love him, and he proposes, why wait? You shouldn't. Marriage is obviously what you are supposed to be doing, so go for it. :)
All right. Back to MY story, what we were talking about first here. Now, I never thought I would be one of those girls that graduated and got married a few months after she turned 19. I mean, come on. Marriage is hard work, it takes a lot of effort, it's not always butterflies and rainbows, and to be honest, I wanted to focus my skills on something other than marriage after I graduated from high school. I've always had a dream to go to medical school. It's just something I want to do. I LOVE medicine, and anything dealing with the human body, so I figured doctor, MD, was the way to go in my schooling. I'm a little nerdy in my love of medicine actually. I could talk about it 24/7 and have to remind myself sometimes that normal humans don't talk about urine tests or what they dissected that day around the dinner table. It's just not normal conversation for everyone. Frequently I find I remind myself to dial back the nerd a little bit, and save it for anatomy class, where I know my peers will appreciate "how large that liver on my cadaver was in lab this morning." ;)
Anyway, detours and medicine aside, when I graduated high school, I wasn't worried about being single. Frankly, I wasn't that interested in guys, and I had medical school to prepare for-which required high grades, lots of studying, and no social life whatsoever.
However, a year into college, and I've begun to notice my lack of a guy a little more now. I mean, it's hard to ignore the fact that you're single when you get on FaceBook every day and see a new announcement that one of your high school "friends" is engaged or getting married. And for awhile, that really bothered me. Don't get me wrong, I was super happy for everyone who had found there "Mr. Right" and "Prince Charming" and were settling down, but it seemed to put the pressure on me. I begun to notice that people asked me more and more if I was "dating anyone" or "in a relationship." Of course, they asked out of sheer innocent interest, and didn't mean to offend me in anyway, yet I took it as pressure, as if they were silently saying, "When are YOU going to get engaged, Jessica? Where's your Prince Charming and shiny new ring?"
Girls, if you're reading this, I want to tell you something I learned just a little while ago. Something it took me a long time and a lot of gritting of teeth through "are you dating anyone?" questions to learn.
Being single is OK.
Yup, you read that right. Read it again, one more time for emphasis. Ok, got it? Good.
Being LDS, and almost 20, and SINGLE, is totally fine! There is NOTHING wrong with you. You are an amazing and beautiful and talented young woman, who just needs a little more time than everyone else. And trust me, FaceBook is not the world. Everyone you see getting married, and engaged, and having babies, they're awesome, and that's what they are supposed to be doing right now, but it does not mean that you are "the last single girl on earth and I'm never going to find 'the one!'" You will find your Prince Charming. And it's going to be perfect, and you're going to get married, and get to post it on FaceBook and show everyone how happy you are.
So yes, I am an almost 20 year old college student, who is LDS, and single, with marriage not really in sight at this moment, but that's totally ok. I have dreams, and ambitions, and when I find my Mr. Right, that will be fabulous. But I'm not putting pressure on myself to get married right now like I was before.
I used to look at the engagement and wedding notifications on my FaceBook wall, and think "When will that be me? Why am I not in a serious relationship? What's wrong with me?" But I don't do that anymore. Because I learned something very important about myself and marriage: I need to experience my own life, and put myself completely all together, and find out who I REALLY am, before I can give all of that to another person. And when I do all of that, then I will be ready to get married, and be ready to say yes to my Prince Charming, and and change my "single" relationship status on FaceBook. ;)
Until then, my relationship status is going to stay "single." And that is totally, and perfectly, okay. :)
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